the mean looking american

long time away

2008-11-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

Its been a long time since ive posted. throw id throw some stuff up.

first some super arty fart day of the dead stuff:

then here is the almost final edit of the stuff at the house
where we were young:

2008-07-31T12:08:00.000-07:00

my favorites from over the summer in florida/ ny.

Now i have a waiting period, good time to dwell on things right?
Might be home for a while, might only be home for a month, we'll see.

2008-07-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

its 2 am here in ny. i come home tomorrow. My mind is racing and i cant sleep. The real world is waiting

diana

2008-07-24T21:23:00.000-07:00

Got my Diana finally developed and scanned.

the 4th

2008-07-12T19:56:00.000-07:00

Im late on posting all this stuff... but here it is now

Looks like chris is a murderer.

sammys parents are ballers

this fourth st. pete set of an a bomb for the grand finally.

poynter

2008-07-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

realized i havent posted this yet you can see everything at

http://2008.poyntersummerfellows.org/

2008-07-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

so we did this design project where sara had us make words with macaroni. This is what i made:
first are my pasta people

there is babby, monkey king, strong guy, dead babby, and lady.
this all grew from "butt"

so then she told us to take one of those words for a title of a magazine.
I chose "zap"
it was a magazine in revers really. take a design element and deside the content and the look. So i figured zap would be like a punkrock readymade wired.
then we had to make a cover for it:
this is myn

for some resone the colors got messed up here. the blue sho nintendo uld be red and the red should be blue... ill put a pdf of it latter.
only 3 people got it, which is a huge disappointment... not so much in my design but in the state of the world. "WHAT DOES NES STAND FOR" ?! if i would have made it the wii issue then theyd know for sure.
for those of you who dont get it, its the top of the original or "nes"

ok then i also did some real work too
i made big slide show with that frank santra impersonator ... ill post that in a day or two. and then i shot some photos to accompany sammy's radio piece on music sweet music that does music therapy in kids hospitals. ill post that soon too, but here are the photos:

then on the way back form a story me and sammy found these candy grills

so explanation of motion jose from Parue said that this motion is like giving the finger it literally mean "this is how much of my dick im gona stick up your ass"

thiz face

and always the Missouri burn

new things

2008-06-27T16:48:00.000-07:00

Its always fun to try new stuff, and even better when you are happy with the outcome.
Tried my hand at nature photography, and studio portraiture... my exposure to both has been very limited.
first the nature...
Also go to the web site that was made . It was a hole group project hat turned out awesome... the design is great, the photos, the sound. there are some ruff edges, but for the first time our designer jessalyn made a site its pretty good, pretty pretty good (sorry been watching a lot of curb your enthusiasm)

http://www.poynterextra.org/pointssouth/2008/week2/clambayou_jsantos_m/index.html

more from that frank impersonator: sinatra

this one is my favorite.

and then lastly my roommates:

now i wish i would have had some one take my photo and have all three.

im that kid

2008-06-26T08:50:00.000-07:00

every time im in a group of new people there always come a point (or multiple points) where im "that kid..." you can fill in the rest.
Last night i became "that kid who took-off-his-clothes-and-swam-in-the-reflection-pool-for-a-photo"
We were doing this thing where we recreated old photo or paintings. It was a lot of fun. first we did this one

and then we had some time so we decided to do this one

which led to this:

oh and then there is also this:

the big empty

2008-06-22T19:31:00.000-07:00

from wolphin 1
part 1

part 2

clam bayou

2008-06-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

so been working a minisite on clam bayou. did some photos but the light wasnt real great and we got rained out. Today is gona storm, but monday should be good so we are going to go out at sunset.
here are some fun picts and some arty farty ones:

sammy mack- "excuse me sir"

hawt

more next week

work

2008-06-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

the cort yard... there is a statue of nelson poynter reading the paper on a bench in the middle.

they have his old typ writer there too and you are encouraged to use it. they have all the notes people leave in the library.

twig- a female frank sinatra impersonator:

more on that latter.
last this is a video 3 of us worked on

now im working on a big ol project about this nature preserve... gona go out and do natgeo kinda stuff

!

2008-06-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

i dont get any sleep, we work all day everyday (literally), im broke as fuck, and i got little bug bites all over my ankles, oh and its hot as fuck, but im loving it.
Its great to come and work with like-minded people and really inspirational people. There are three or so people ive met so far that are on the same page and i could see myself working with and being friends with in the future. not to say that everyone isnt awesome but you know there area few i really click with.
Jaquci one of the teachers, the one that won the Pulitzer, is soooooo rad. I love just hanging and listening. she is really inspirational and keeps it real. we had a meeting on interviewing and the art there of. it was supposed to go from 6 to like 730 went till 9, because we just kept going and talking. she makes you remember that its all about the story... there are so many complexities to what we talked about that i cant relay convey right now but ill probably just talk to you people one on one about stuff too. Ill post some stuff tomorrow, and ill reveal the next project then too.

gona go watch some curb- out

ps go scroll down and read aids in the heart land its definitely interesting to see it back in 87 when it was all just coming out.

2008-06-16T18:56:00.001-07:00

so working on my first video... or rather telling chris what i think of it while he does the real work.
here are a few stills that ive shot- more stuff in the works, but this week has mainly been that video.

2008-06-13T17:21:00.000-07:00

So we had to go and do your typical public-records dig up exercise the other day, it this one turned to be far from typical. So we got the name Joe Redner and had to drive out to tampa to pull up every and all public records we could and construct an idea about this guys life. Found all sorts of arrests (no real convictions though) all sorts of properties including the Mos Venus (which is apparently one of the most famous strip clubs in the US) hes run for office, and made all sorts of charitable donations... needless to say the story these various forms were unfolding was very interesting. And the info you can find on people! its kinda scary how easy it is if you have some knowledge of the system.
Any way so when we went into the audiorium to make our presntations on varoius things - my team had political life- geuss who was sitting in the back row? no other than Mr. Joe Redner himself. I just started laughing in my deep load cacile i sometimes have.
Here are a few you tube clips i found on him...

Then also you should all read Aids in the Heart Land by my teacher Jacqui Banaszynski. It won a pulitzer way back when (journalism kids you had to read parts of it in various classes)
Its long but good so check it out if you have some time.

Aids in the Heartland

too much not enough (part 2)

2008-06-13T11:33:00.000-07:00

ugh... i hate (love) these times in life when there is sooo much to do and want to do but no time. I've goten so little sleep this past week, weve been just so busy. In classes all day and then either trying to be social or going out the beets. And then there is so much i want to absorb. "oh i want to read that, or look at that" I often come home and open up a million windows of stuff to read and then fall asleep.
More on that latter, ill put links of all sorts of stuff.
Next week ill have some work too !!!!

2008-06-10T19:47:00.001-07:00

man the past 2 days have been long. feels much longer that it has really been... supper tiered more latter.

oh also

2008-06-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

also- here was my final project for my print making class.
its a lino cut- special prize for the first person to guess who everyone is. (all five of you out there)

first night

2008-06-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

went to the beach! me, the beach. sat most of the time, read, dug a hole- love digging holes at the beach.
first night Brian Storm spoke. Which is a pretty big deal.
here are a couple pieces. ive posted them before but why not again.

Always the Airport

2008-06-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

well im chilen here in the airport... my flight is 3 hours delayed so i figure this is the perfect time to start blogging again. I guess now its the mean looking californian... but that just doesnt sound right (and it lacks the Gram Green reference)

SO my day:
You ever have those days where you stop and realize how strang your life is? i have them a lot.
This was my to do list today:
go to post office (send package)
differ student loan (cus who wants to go to the real world)
modle for visa add (yes i said it)
pick up check at lombarids (skimpted me)
smash car in parking lot (there goes the add $$)
drive back to concord (in a smashed car)
run in bart (while talking to mom- about my smashed car)
fly to florida (3 hours latter than supposed to)

check check and check.
Today was my first adventure in male modeling. I got paid 500$ bucks to be a tinny speck in the bottom corner of the frame looking up at what will be a giant purse in the middle of dolaris park. Or rather i got paid to do that for 30 minutes and sit around and eat for the other 4 hours. man i choud down. every one else ate some and left, i just chilled and ate all the good food. and yes i took some cookies home with me.

fast forward....
picked up my check at the bike shop
was in the cramped parking garage... no one to my left car on the right, i back up ... totally forgetting that there is a pillar in my left blind spot... turn the wheel and smack my front end right into it totally crunching it.
a stress tear popped in my eye for a sec, then i saw that while it looks gnarly its really not bad and drove off.

now im gona sleep in the airport and get on my flight at 3am.

Ill write again soon, and have photos before you know it.

a thought

2008-06-01T00:08:00.001-07:00

so pooped the other day... and it smelled just like taco bell. i think the equation the opposite is grosser though, that taco bell smells like my poop.

end of the year

2008-05-17T14:13:00.000-07:00

i know i havent bloged in a long time. this past school year has been a strange trip (when is it not though?)
lots of friends and loved ones left, some are leaving, some are coming back. Ill be leaving in a few weeks to go run around florida playing photographer. Im hoping to come back in augus cuban (or at least tanish)
any way, i guess here is some of the stuff i have photographed this semester:

seeing it all out not sure how i feel. i guess i got a lot done, feel like i could and should have done more.

2008-03-03T17:35:00.001-08:00

gona try to post some new stuff soon... been sleepwalking through the days though

dolperganger

2008-03-03T11:09:00.000-08:00

i miss her so much i see here everywhere:

ouch

2008-01-08T15:22:00.000-08:00

ive always said that i want to get a negative fortune cookie... something like "your wife is cheating on you" or "be careful crossing the street" you know stuff that is clearly a joke...
but i got (well Ariel got) one that was kinda snide and rude
"you constantly struggle for self improvement- and it shows"

im all about the 11th grade!

2008-01-06T16:11:00.000-08:00

a girl took my photo with her camera phone on BART today.
I was reading and heard the fake "click" noise they make, looked up, and that shit was pointed right at me.
just before this she caked on a bunch of make up out of one of those square make up things you see at a drug store... and just after she proceeded to read lines to her self just loud enough to be heard but not understood.
weird drama chicks- hawt.

no time to stop

2007-12-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

i dont know if im going to keep this now that im back... or really if i will have time to keep it, or if any one will read it.
Ive had to jump right back into everything.
Came back to a wedding and family everywhere.
Then to SF and sleeping on coaches... so i havent been able to just stop and sleep and hibernate yet... and i got my job back so i will be doing a lot of house next week so i wont really ever have time to just stop.....

siting in the air port

2007-12-05T21:24:00.000-08:00

well that train got here like 2 hours soon then what the internet said... but what ever ill have a lot of siting and waiting regardless.
Hmm reflection... looking back at these past few months ive learned something about myself... jk (im not that lame (lame enough to use 'jk' though))

but this was a bunch of crazy adventures in on bigger crazy adventure... and really i just have lots more left before its really over. wedings and work, i really should try and get some writing done while i sit here. Its just that this article will take a lot of gentle balance that i am having a hard time structuring it in my head... i guess i just need to start. Im just afraid of beeing too leading and deciding things about these peoples lives, i dont want to impose myself as the writer on them. but they cant tell me anything about themsleves so its all a mix of generality and observation... so eh .... just do it i guess. I havent even settled on the final photos... i have 3 or 4 for sure, then the other 4 or 5 are still up in the air.

"gona see the ones i dig"

2007-12-05T02:55:00.000-08:00

(i thought bigy would have been too obvious)

in about 12 hours i will be on a train for copenhagen, and in about 15 hours ill be in a plain for LA. Im ready for home. Saw Howlin Rain last night fitting for my last night to see an sf band. They rocked, it was at this real small practice space. for those that dont know they are like a heavyer shrediery creedence. its like what creedence would have been if they grew up listening to creedence.

Oh and a nice little 'fuck you' from denmark... yesterday i crashed on maja's bike and fucked up my right elbo. the chain fell off and kicked my foot forward. its not too bad, just jammed it, but its gona make traveling real shity. best part... only one person asked if i was ok... one guy even stepped over me as i was sprawled out in the bike line. that was the rudest thing i think i have ever seen, guy just stepped right over me.

So am i ever ready to leave

i am a pro

2007-12-02T07:56:00.001-08:00

ive been doing everything but write... i have transcribed audio, so ive done some work.
but you should watch this national geo/ mediastorm project about silverback gurillas... its really sad

click here

you know a big part of me wants to shoot stuff like this to maybe help something. but also really, the world is fucked, there is no stopping it nature, humans, global warming, war, all that shit, is never going to stop. despite all the things people are trying to do to help in 100, 50, 20 years we are going to be be bladerunner/ mad max status. a big part of me just wants to go there, to see those things before they arent around any more, before they only exist in museums and zoos.

forget being a photographer... im making jens face coats

2007-12-02T05:58:00.000-08:00

oh i forgot to say... i think i earned Jens (the one that yelled at me the other day) respect yesterday. He smelled me. he does that when he likes you... or to see if he likes you... i passed the smell test, so i could stay and photograph him.

and boy was his face soft. ive never felt a baby's butt before, but i bet old autistic man face is softer.
If i could make coats out of Jens face id be a millionaire.

then and now

2007-12-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

then

and now

ahh the things we do to avoid working

ah

2007-12-01T14:30:00.000-08:00

i havent wanted to post this cus i dont want to be one of those pussy bloger kids that post about being unhappy... but fuck if i havent been irritable as shit the past few days. I havent been getting good sleep for a while, ive been counting the days till i go home (literaly) which is the worst thing you can do cus it just makes everything go slower, and i have been in a bad mood. now if you'll excuse me i have some black cloths and Elliot Smith records to put on.

the world inside - part 2

2007-12-01T05:06:00.000-08:00

there is always that point looking at my work when im just "its not there"
thats where i am now, im tiered, taking a day off does nothing but make me more tired cus i basically sit around this room really wish i didnt have to leave early, on the 10th Henrik goes to see his mom, and on the 12th is the big christmas party. at this point going every day doesnt serve a whole lot to the story... every day stuff i have a lot of, they physically and mentally dont do enough for every day shooting... i really need those special day stuff, like christmas and birthdays, that takes a looooonnnnggg time to do, and i dont have that much time. I was bummed/pissed cus they told me that Henrik had music therapy at 1 the other day. So i thought great i can sleep in a little and get there at 12 before he goes to therapy. What they didnt tell me was that in the morning they would be going to church, i could have gone to church with Billman and Eva before i went to music therapy with henrik... how awsom would that have been to go to church! and it only happens ones a month. Im constantly asking whats going on and its always "oh nothing really not a lot" or even better "i dont know" "i dont know"? you dont know what is planed, what kind of care taker are you you dont know whats going on in the house.
any way i only have maybe 1, 2, maybe 3, days left to shoot, it all depends on the other stuff i have to do, cleening packing train ticket buying... so we will see.
here are the possible so far. putting them up here help to sort things out, but really i have to print them all out and just slide them around on the floor. Cus some dont work with out other, and if i use one it means i cant use another, ugh.

and i still have to write, i have an interview tonight, and i need to finish transcribing the first one... shit.

read to go

2007-11-30T14:18:00.000-08:00

today was good i think....
im ready to finish this though. Im frustrated by some of the caretakers. i wont get into it, but talking heads are always frustrating. I prefer the residence over some of the care takers. Its only one house that the people are frustrating... house 41 i love the care takers.
but today i stayed in 41 mainly... i wonder why ....
any way billman, they really old guy that cant talk from the last post, put my hand on his head today. that might not sound like much but 10 years ago he didnt let any one touch him, he was totally closed off. Now he wants people to hold his hand, and if he has you touch his head, that means your in, your friends. So as of today me an billman are officially buddies.

it was also really funny cus all the care takers were in different rooms doing things so it was just me in the common area. billman takes me by the hand and walks me towards the kitchen, cus he wanted some coffee, we pass by Lydia (the lady with the crunched up face that lays on the coach most of the time, the one with the hand on her head) she gets up and grabs on to me, so have 2 of them hanging on me... then she runs off and brings me a box of medical gloves and then runs back to her coach and laughs with weird sounding crazy laugh... then benta (the one who runs around with her head down) comes flying out and crashes into me full body.
dont know if any of that story translated but trust me it was funny.

new stuff- the world inside

2007-11-29T01:45:00.000-08:00

some from the past couple days

proud of this one just cus i shot it with my left hand. LEFT HAND! he was holding on to my right the hole time. i could be like "give me my hand. i have to shoot (in a dave chapelle cop voice)" so i held the camera by the bottom, pushed it against my shoulder, used my thumb to hit the focus, and used my pinky to fire it.

you can kinda see she has a helemt on. she just puts her head down and goes... so she hits shit a lot.

i think its impossible to take a bad photo of this guy. you cant see in this one, but they dress him really dapper. its sad though, cus he aint got nothing going on upstairs. he hasnt been able to talk for 77 years.

i really wanted to get him in front of that poster in his room. not sure if i got it like i want, but it might be the best ill get... he is one hard fool to shoot. i had a better instanse than this to shoot before... i walked in, really slow and soft, he lifts his head, and screems this load deep moan, scared the shit out of me.
not to compaire this guy to Sloth from goonies, but it was like that scene in goonies when chunk was tied up in a chair next to sloth. Sloth starts yelling, and chunck freaks out jumping around in his chair. it was just like that.

not sure which one i like better

again... not sure. the far away? or the close up?

He holds his breath and streches his back like that to get an endorphin rush... kinda like poping your knuckles.

half way there

2007-11-28T01:21:00.000-08:00

met with my teacher about my story... he liked it, im on the right track. It was good to talk to him and get my mind back in it. He reaferamed ideas i had about the story. In the start i really wanted to be quiet as the photographer... i didnt want to fall into the typical 'photographer' celiques. with out me saying anything he pointed out ones that were good, and ones where he thought i was being too much of a 'photographer' so it was good to reafierm my original ideas of how to shoot. i think its really good to cary that on in everything i shoot... its easy to try and be triky and pull out your bag of tricks, but the best stuff is when you just shut up and let the photo breath.
7 more days here... i can shoot 5 hopfuly... have to pound it through and try to get some sleep in.

dont know when ill post any photos... my drive on doing technical stuff is at 0.

premature contemplation

2007-11-27T07:35:00.000-08:00

this post is a bit premature, but i guess im just ready for home....
i wish is were sumer too, cus some of these things work better in the summer...
i just want to come home and sleep in parks, dance in kitchens (or in my case not dance), say hella, eat tacos and bag on Cancun, make fun of alex's big head, drink standing out on 16th, get pissed when a hipster fixed gear passes me up, eat at airismindi Kate's kitchen and front porch- ahhhh front porch, make fun of kristina for talking like barny ruble, try and figure out how we are going to get those still underaged into bars (hey alex doesnt have to do that anymore), bust organized and or prince, ya i think thats it, thats all i want to do, and nothing else.

a ray of light (literally)

2007-11-26T12:03:00.000-08:00

the sun finally came out today ... i rocked that shit hard... dont know how long it will last so i had to shoot a lot... ill post them latter

ugh

2007-11-24T10:25:00.001-08:00

i feel lost in this story... just shooting a lot and hoping something will come of it in the end. Maybe its cus im thinking about how little time i have left, and worrying about how im going to get what i want photo and reportingwise, and have time to write and lay out and do all of that.
Maybe its because I never really 'worried' about my photography before. Ive never been one of those people who thinks 'how can my photography get better' ive always just seen my photography as a means to an end, vrses 'my photography.' but now with this story ive put so much pressure on myself to do it well that im thinking about 'how i shoot' 'what to shoot' and bs like that. Im thinking too much... i think.

And fucking noise ninja still hasnt sent me my keycode and im pissed. Ive complained twice. I decided stylistically that this story needs to be really sharp and 0 noise, so i figured i should invest in noise ninja... still cant use it though. and the sun sets here at like 4 (if it comes out at all) so to shoot id have to use a flash, which i am aposed to, or use a high iso... so everything is supper noisy.

Talking to my teacher about the story he pointed out that if i want to make a story about Solund and gentle teaching with a strong humanistic approach B/W probably wouldnt be the way to go, because of the thematic connotations it has.
B/W usualy gives the photos a sense of darkness and mystery.
He is right and i defiantly dont want that in the story, this is more about life then it is (pardon my un-pcnes) 'retards'
But then with the nasty light im having a hell of a time toning these things... i might just have to say fuck it and do it im B/W.
I dont know.
maybe posting them here will help me work it out.

There is this one guy that lives in the back room. He is a sivear case of autism, hes also new there. He cant be around people at all, he lashes out at people and himself, so he lives in the back and never really comes out of his room. They have one person that will work with him all day long. They have goten prity far and one day he might be able to be around people more.
The administrative lady has said i might be able to shoot in there but probly not. Fair enough, if this kid is going to atack me or himself, im chill. but all the people that work with him really want me to come in and shoot. There are no photos of him at all realy, so really he is like this mystery kid. They want photos of them working with him. so one day soon im gona just sit in the back for several hours with one of them till he gets used to me and i can get closer... it will be interesting to say the least.

these are all in different toning stages:

magazine up finally

2007-11-20T13:58:00.000-08:00

looking at my own work is weird. first i like it then the more i look at it i dont like it, then i find something in the middle.
some of this i am very prowd of, some not so much. I would have liked to have goten closer, but i did what i could in a week.

H/S

big ups (yes big ups) to paul for spear heading the art direction and making the logo and all that.
My stuff is on page ... uh ... 36 (19 in the pdf), and check out anne's just before myn, well check out all of it, but i like annes stuff a lot.

day one

2007-11-20T13:01:00.000-08:00

too tiered to say much... but here is one form my first day of shooting at Soldund.
Trying to finish the other multimedia, hopefully in the morning maybe.

notice who is the care giver and who is the patient and the roles they play in the photo.

this is irritating

2007-11-20T01:13:00.000-08:00

ok so this is a big photo rant, but i dont care...

there is this trend in photomultimedia that really bugs me. A lot of photographers will just run their photos and then talk about them. "oh i saw this, it was terrible, i did this too, I I I I" And what media storm has been doing is even running video interviews with the photographer really puting them in the spot light. This is such self satisfying, self serving BULL SHIT. they might as well just be jacking off.
perfect example ... media storms news piece. Its about a iraq vet and his problmes coming home and post traumatic stress and all that. Its really good, really touching, but then at the end, the last 5 minutes of the thing, is a video of the photographer. Its him giving his personal opinion and saying how he helped the guy while shooting. You ruined a great piece you self satisfying arrogant dip! no one gives a fuck about your opinion. And worst of all its unjournalistic. if you are trying to tell this guys story... stay the fuck out of it... dont give your opinion, you arent the main character, you arent the fucking story.

Now im some one that is admittedly arrogant, but come on. Keep the 'I's for the intro of your book, keep them for your private stories, or your memoirs. you didnt become a photographer to be a fucking rock star, stay the fuck out of your subjects stories!

if it's ment to be an autobiographical thing, thats fine, im ok with that, i often even like that... but if you are trying to tell some one elses story, doing make your self a character by injecting.

ahh ok
im done

too many things, not enough places to put them

2007-11-19T14:54:00.000-08:00

almost done with the multi media, gona put the mag pdf soon too i swear (mom).

Started my last project today, first day of shooting tomorrow. Im supper excited. Its a commune for mentally handicapped adults. they do a method of treatment called 'gentle teaching' instead of behavior modification. Its so basic and innate that its sad that it needs to be a 'method.' really it just acknowledges that they are different, and that the need to feel safe and loved is key to them growing. it aims to address the inner problems instead of just correcting the behavior, like with behavior modification.
You treat them more like you would a child or infant, not a dog. You shower an infant with love and work to build trust, not like behavior modification where you just shock them if they hit themsevels. that just instills fear of the care taker, and themselves really.

it seems like a really great community, and Im excited to sped time there.

I just really want to do a good job... I only have 14 days to shoot so it will be tight. My mind is already stretched in lots of places. It's probably good ill be alone for the most part, and dont have a girlfriend or anything cus i know the next to weeks are gona be physically mentally and emotionally exhausting. (and yet im excited for that?! man im fucked)

Howl'n Rain, from sf, is coming soon... thats gona be sick.

sneak peak

2007-11-16T07:41:00.000-08:00

here is a sneak peak at the multimedia im working on for hte fisherman stuff... Ill post up the pdf of the magazine in a few hours as well.

intro
there is no 'n' at the end, i need to fix that.

that song is a port o brian song

finally

2007-11-14T19:36:00.000-08:00

man i sure am tiered... just now getting home, and its like 7:30 pm...
oh wait its 7:30 in CA
its 4:30 here
id be getting up in 3 hours

but it looks really great... totally better than last years.

want to go home

2007-11-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

im antsy as shit... its 1:30am still in the lab trying to finish this mag, almost there, gona kill self

cpoy

2007-11-14T14:31:00.001-08:00

man i just watched some of the cpoy judging... they were really hard on some good stuff... makes me scared, if i placed in anything other than first, id never watch the judging podcasts.

the first snow

2007-11-14T02:09:00.000-08:00

in arhus... and that ive ever experienced happened yesterday. it was really light but for a californian (minus mountain dwellers) it was pretty rad.

commenets please

2007-11-13T09:31:00.000-08:00

so i am trying to lay out my story for my magazine project and im stuck on some editing stuff... read the article (its long but good) then help me narrow down some of the photos.

here is the article:

Some men find comfort in the thought of their mother. For others its a food or a city that makes them think of home. For Leo Vandbors its the taste of salt and brine, its rocking back and forth on waves, it’s the feeling water on his face. Leo is a fisherman. Leo was born a fisherman, and Leo plans on dieing a fisherman.
On the far west coast of Denmark situated on a peninsula less then a mile wide, on what’s called the Holmsland Klit, rests the fishing city of Hvide Sande with a population of approximately 5,000.
Of the 170 ships that port in Hvide Sande most are large vessels that go out to the North Sea, but at the mouth of the Ringkøbing Fjord about 35 small, mostly private, locally owned fishing boats rest in German Harbor.
The modest, two man boats that call German Harbor home are dwarfed by the large five man boats that port in the larger nearby docs.
Compared, German Harbor looks like the boating equivalent to a scrap yard, where old boats go to die.
To an ever shrinking few that live in Hviden Sande though, German Harbor is the last vestige of an old way of life. Its one of last places they can go to really feel alive.

Its 8:30 am, the sun has barely started to warm the ground and already men start to congregate in a small green boat house just on shore of German Harbor. This 20 square ft house is where most of these men will spend their time when not fishing or working on their boats. Their days have started no later than 7:00 am.
The air is thick with cigarette smoke and the walls are covered with old photos and painting of ships. Pulling the frames away from wall reveals that the wood panels are literally stained from the smoke.
Men come and go. Conversations fall into lulls that last up to ten minutes. Looking from the outside one might think the men don’t know each other very well, or don’t get along, but this silence stems more from a shared understanding and comradery than discomfort.
In one corner of the room sits an old man named Henrik Spowogn. A cigarette rests in his hand, his right pinky having been cut off at the knuckle years ago during a fishing accident. He is the owner, or skipper, of the small two-manned fishing boat named Lena.
In the opposite corner sits Leo Vandbors, a 50 year old retiree, and member of the small crew that works on Lena. After 25 years of fishing with a twisted spine Leo was forced to retire. Its an old cliché ‘being married to the sea’ but for Leo its true. It is too painful for him now to work on the fjord, but at the same time for him it is too painful for him to not work.
He lives off a pension but still goes out on the fjord two or three times a month to fish flounder, more as a hobby than anything else. Many of the fish he catches are too small to sell at the market and he ends up either selling them under the table for pocket money or giving them away.
To say that Leo fishes the fjord as a hobby in no way implies that the fjord is safe. On the contrary, they all attest, the fjord is more dangerous and takes more lives each year than the North Sea. Leo says at least one of his friends a year has been taken by the fjord, too many for him to remember the exact number.
Leo, like many of these men, has lived in Hvide Sande all his life and fishing is in his blood.
When asked how long he’s been a fisherman he simply responds “always!”
Leo is the youngest of three boys to a father that was as cold and mysterious as the sea he lived off of. Leo started as a young boy helping his father fish and both of his brothers at some time in their lives have been fisherman.
At 14 Leo found a father figure in a skipper named Jorren. Leo worked for Jorren for 25 years until he died last month at the age of 70 from cancer.
In those 25 years with Jorren Leo sailed all over the North Sea catching all kinds of fish, making a good living. He would spend up to three weeks at a time at sea, working 18-20 hours a day only stopping to eat and sleep.
Leo’s stories are things of movies- far off places, dangerous situations, adventures, hard work and hard drinking. Leo doesn’t romanticize his life though. The best explanation he can form is “[my] life is a fisherman. Life is like it is, and that’s it.”
He speaks with a sort of stoicism rarely seen in a person. Maybe it comes with his age, maybe from his experiences, maybe something else all together.
Its not the same stoicism that people often attribute to someone who is impassionate or uncaring. Its quite the opposite. Leo is loving and full of life. He is more a person who understands life’s cycles the same way he understands the sea’s cycles, or the tides.

He tells stories about the time an engine failed at sea and he chose to stay with the captain to get the boat to port instead of getting on the rescue ship. He ends with a long introspective pause and then says, “As a fisherman you always stick together, you never leave one another.”
Or the time he watched the ship he sailed on for over 15 years sink when it got struck by another boat. He ends with the same long pause and “its sad, I cant really explain it, but that’s life.”
He explains that, “as a fisherman we don’t count the bad times, only the good.”
But as a man who has experienced so many things that one would consider ‘bad’ one has to wonder how he manages all of his memories, all his ups and downs. One has to wonder how he managed the sea for all those years.
Its his face that tells the story. His eyes are red and watery, partly from the cigarette smoke, partly from memories flooding back forming tears.
He stares off for long periods of time saying nothing, clenching his teeth, thinking deeply, remembering fondly.
Leo explains, “I cant live without water…no water no life.”
Every time he is away from the water for any period of time he says that he always returns to the fjord, if only for a few hours.
“There’s always a smell, a sound, anything, from your childhood that reminds you of home, for me its water.”

so now the layout:
I have 4 spreads or 8 pages
the first spread (2 pages)
has this photo acrose both pages

printed over top in white is the title "lena" and the that first paragraph

then i need some help on the next spread
i have this photo big

with these two ones smaller underneath

then on the adgoning page i need a photo... i think a fishing photo... it will run big with text underneath it.
what do you think
1

2

3

4

5

then i have this photo about half way down with text underneath it

Id love to end it with this photo... i just wonder if its too hard to read... for me it sums up everything ... but maybe it is too moody... to dark and confusing?

also though i have an edit of this that is lighter and a clearer silowet.

fuck the cold

2007-11-13T05:19:00.000-08:00

its soooo cold today ... my eyeballs are cold.

my eyeballs!

one more time...

...

my eyeballs

taking a step backwards

2007-11-11T22:52:00.000-08:00

well i really should have posted this stuff first before the work... but im going backwards.
So we went to Hvide Sande, it was a lot of fun, did things, saw things...

notice the difference in priorities... the girls start making food for every one, while me and paul know whats really important- seting up a work station.

first day met these guys on a big boat... they were going out for like 8 days so i couldn't go with them... glad it i didnt though i like the way my story went ...

this is where i spent most of my time while shooting

hawt

i dont hug dogs that could kill me if they wanted to.

so all my fisher budies said to go to the fishermans party at the bar... no one showd up. i was bumbed cus my story fell into a rut and i didnt really shoot for 2 days... this was going to be really important to the story, and they never showed up... so really thats 3 days of nothing for the story.

people keep asking me about my love life here...
this is the closest thing ive goten... greenlander lady getin fresh

thats martin in the midle... he is a 4th semester student. 4th semester is when you leave to do an internship... anne met him while she was shooting at the hotel, he just happened to be in hvide sande on vacation/shooting some. He came and crashed on our floor for 2 nights. it was nice, he cooked the best food we had all week, and gave us a fresh breath... having a photog that isnt stuck with their head up their asses about their own story was really nice.

Over all this was crazy fun. It was really nice to live with every one and talk and chill.
Never in my life would i have thought id end up in western denmark kicking it with fisherman, living on a house boat for a week, or walking a beach with crazy wind (45 miles an hour at some points at night).
I got luck meeting the people i did, but i know if i had just a day or two more to shoot it would have been perfect. or really if leo didnt get sick for those 2 days.

I said above that i had 2 days of no shooting... well i got some really great fishing pictures of leo... then the weather got real bad and no one was going to be able to go out the rest of the week. So if i wanted to show my subject both in everyday life and fishing it had to be Leo because no one else would fish. Plus he is the only person i can communicate with well. I hung out with the other guys when he was sick, but they dont really speak much english, some of them not at all. really he was both my fixer, translator, and subject.
So i waited and hoped hed get better after a day or so. I also didnt have a repor with him yet to go see him at his house while he was sick. So i was really stuck in a hard spot... nearly impossible to get everything i wanted. when he was still sick on friday my anxiety got kinda high... i didnt sleep at all the night before so those 2 things made for a shity day. My anxiety was manigible but it did get to the point where i had to just sleep when ever possible, because being awake was too hard to not stress every second.
so i had to drop him and try and find some one else to shoot... ended up shooting someother guy some... but then by chance i saw him at the boat house again and got a really good interview with him. So it all worked out. it was a really ambitious plan to find and shoot a single character story, about a community that at times i cant comunicate with, in 6 days.

ruff stuff

2007-11-11T11:31:00.000-08:00

so here is some stuff from Hvide Sande, or White Sands, i wanted to wait till i had a more compleat edit, but people have been asking... so here are some:

notice the hand... pinky got cut clean off at the nuckle

this is two photos merged together... i have a cool flash thing with this to put up soon

my favorite

new bff

2007-11-11T05:36:00.000-08:00

till i get everything together to put up here here is a picture of me and my new bff

sorry all past bff contenders (i guess that last f was a lie)

leo the fisherman

2007-11-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

glad we just found out that we did in fact have internet in this house... would have been on here too much.

but i just finished an interview with one of the coolest, deepest guys ive ever met.

Leo this big fisherman i met here during my story... really this guy said some deep stuff. Best part is that he doesn't really see it as deep, it just is what it is.

makes me really feel like a jackass city slicker.

photos an article soon.

old stuff from freshman year

2007-11-02T07:28:00.001-07:00

siting rockin out to all the new music i took from mikes computer (ahh hypocrisy, if some one stole my photos and published them id be pissed, but i guess if people paid entrance fees to see my work that would be tight).

Im leaving tomorrow for a fishing town called Hived Sande, or White Sand, so ill be gone for a week. The 8 of us are renting a house for the week... our teacher is going to come out on Wednesday to see where we are in our stories... how sweet is that.
Im going to try to go out on a boat and kick it with some fisherman... found the local fisherman's union organization thing, and they are going to help me find some one to go with.
Elin for some reason has sea sick pills with her... so that will help a lot, cus i get sick on escalators practically.
Anna is going to be shooting at the local hotel where a lot of contract deck hand fisherman live during the season... I know Anna will kill that place.

but i thought id post some really old photos... i took these off the web site a while ago and alex asked where they went so i thought id put them back up ... so here they are here too:

RAGBRAI:
the regional's annual great bike ride across iowa... 7 days, 500 miles, like 1600 feet or something climbed, 10 pieces of pie eaten, 2 pork chops from Mr. Pork chop, and however many beers drunk- Missouri river to the mississippi river ... one of the best times ever.

hiding from the rain in an open barn.

sexy

then these are some from Norm's camera just for fun:

Bill on the right got messed up pretty good the last day. He was in a draft line with some dippshits and some one breaked and caused a pile up. he busted a rib or two and i think poked his lung.
thats why i dont draft cus it dangerous if you dont know the people you are riding with. like the 10th time hes done the ride and first time hes goten hurt.

any one who has heard me talk about the ride has heard about this family. they were friends of friends of friends of johns, we never met these people before but they let us sleep in thier place and fed us a big ol' feast.

john "i might even get a hard on"
my mom took this guys parenting classes. another quote from him the last night of the ride "jeff you know your mom took my parenting classes... you dont need to tell her we are drinking vodka together"

uh ... till death do us part...?

2007-11-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

my bro and soon to be sis-in-law either really cute or really gross not sure

$chool $chool and more $chool

2007-10-31T06:54:00.000-07:00

so looking at all my stuff for school... ya no way im going to finish next semester... at least one more. I have all these "non major related credits" siting there to take... i hate bullshit classes. im kinda confused cus my DARS report doesnt list 2 classes that im sure count for segment II. If they dont im gona raise shit, cus no way i took 'sex and society' from 7-10 at night... and 'though and image' with Mr. Holland (from Mr. Holland's Opus) for three hours for nothing.

But then looking for classes i found a bunch that id like to take... but as usual those base no prerec classes usually sound cool and end up sucking balls. I think i heard that print making is actually kinda sucky, but im gona sign up any way... i might take a 'intro to computer programing' class.

now all i have to do is figure out money and housing and im set. ha

Oh did you know that if you are a student in Denmark the government pays you about 800$ a month to live off of so you dont have to work while your in school... thats on top of not paying for school in the first place.

I can imagine how that would really encourage kids to get a higher education, thus rising the general viability and prosperity of the community.
They give incentive to get an education, where in america it almost feels like you get punished. Have to pay upwards of 40 grand for some schools, you have to be dirt dirt poor to get any real help. and even then if you work too much and make too much then they take your aid away from you.

part 1 of 13: un

2007-10-28T01:46:00.001-07:00

Arhus is quite, copenhagen- chill, london- bangen, but paris, paris is ballen. Paris was seriously the nicest city ive been to. They go all out with everything, soo great... and the women! man! and i didnt find anyone rude, i thought every one was nice. Italians were defiantly much ruder.

Any way, this is a big one, so im going to group them into different posts to break it up some.
so i gues this one was part one of 13

part 2 of 13: in the morning/ karma

2007-10-28T01:45:00.001-07:00

in the morning they way different things lined up in my room made it look like some one was siting backwards in my chair with a hat on. really freeked me out, i was so out of it still that i stayed still just to make sure "it must just be stuff piled up. but im gona just watch it to make sure some one didnt break in and sit in my chair"

But man was i never happier to have plane delayed. I went to the train station to go to copenhagen... forgot my passport like an idiot. so i grabbed a city bike and ran home, i had an hour till my train. just missed it and had to wait an hour till the next one... not too bad, i would just make it. oh turns out i wouldnt "just make it" the train took 3 hours and 45 minutes... i thought it was a 3 hour train.
I really thought i was going to puke on the train... i would get there with only half an hour to run and check in... no way id make it. Turns out the plane was delayed so i made it just fine.
And then susi had problems getting the the airport cus of the subway strike... so she showed up right when i got there... man karma sometimes goes your way.

part 3 of 13: the tower

2007-10-28T01:35:00.000-07:00

part 4 of 13: the briefs

2007-10-28T01:28:00.000-07:00

fill in "go" and "hey hey" or "ya ya" where appropriate.

susi really wanted to go south to bordo to see the briefs... they were ok... too much $$ getting there, but hey.

went to a flee market (under a big church) the next day

notice anything about these movies?

part 5 of 13: susi's and random

2007-10-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

susi's place:

segway tours? more like gayway

the subway is soo nice, never have to wait more then 5 minutes.
one of the new stations was all brass with arty gears sticking out, and the chairs were wood.
it reminded me of the boat seen in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

part 6 of 13: way too much art on way to many walls.

2007-10-28T01:16:00.000-07:00

this one was disappointing, some other ones were much nicer... why she so famous? just cus this bitch aint got no arms?

part 8 of 13: the catacombs

2007-10-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

this was the scariest thing... when you leave its just a room, like a broom closet, and there was a scull just chillen on a fridge.

part 9 of 13: random and the blow

2007-10-28T01:00:00.000-07:00

went to a really cool english language book store. guy was playing a piano surprisingly well. often when some guy sits down at a piano in a store they kinda suck... but he was really good, and it made the book store that much nicer.

supper grave... the top says something to the effect of "they want ass"

Lenny Kravitz?!

oh this couple... man it was hard to watch. you dont really get it all with this photo but this guy was bummed and trying not to show it on the subway. he was leaning in hard, would stare down and clenches is teeth for a while, she just looking at him, slightly touching his hands, as if to say "sorry?"
he didnt get the answer he wanted.

THE BLOW and NUMBERS.

the blow kinda blew, numbers was ok.

part 10 of 13: memorable toilets

2007-10-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

ive been a lot of places and seen a lot of toilets... and it has always fasinated me the different ways to intrepret the same thing. you wouldn't think there would be so many different kidns of toilets... but theres a lot. so while i was on a train i drew the most memorable ones.

first are your standard american and danish toilet. they are about the same the only real difference is that the flush mechanism one the danish toilet is on the top, its nice because you dont have to worry about it running.

The grossest toilet i have ever used: train station in Agra.

Luckily it was a squat hole so I didnt have to touch anything... it was a large cavernous room with a dark and dirrity hole in the ground. it was sooooo gross.

Most difficult toilet: trains in India

This one wasnt as gross, but it was difficult because you shake back and forth and poop down a hole on to the tracks.

Nicest toilet ever: singapor air

same squat ... but really nice and clean and shiny. (notice the light lines glistening off)

Train station Brodo Italy

regular toilet but the water came from up high.

Finally yours and my favorite.

all guys know this, seen at dive bars and sporting events and arenas around the world.

part 11 of 13 :viva la zizi

2007-10-27T12:31:00.000-07:00

Went to the science museum and saw le exposision de zizi ... which translates to the exposition of the pipi
it was a show to help kids with puberty and stuff... it was really funny, but really good too, id take my kids. there was a puberty section, what is love, safe sex and being ready sutff, good touch bad touch kinds stuff, birth, all disguised really well.

best part though was that the english was brish english so they used stuff like "willy" and "sexy bits"

story of my life. ha

this is what im going to look like in 10 years.

part 12 of 13: meet me where the sweat decends

2007-10-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

les savy fav rocked.
first band was ok.
Shows in europe are weird, they do really small bills, like only 2 acts.

part 13 of 13:good bye old friend

2007-10-27T12:11:00.000-07:00

I know i said i was going to keep the beerd for the whole time i was out here... but i just needed a change, i was geting tiered of it so its gone... im gona keep my hair long for a while... see how that works.

kinda like the stash.

slised myself pretty good, got one on my cheek too... call me nelly

so now im all fresh and ready for this next month and a week... two progects then home... man its gona go fast.

part 7 of 13: just cus

2007-10-27T11:25:00.000-07:00

should have posted this before... doesnt have anything to do with paris... but maybe it will break things up some.

paris bitches

2007-10-21T01:10:00.001-07:00

im out

ready to leave before you get there

2007-10-20T05:22:00.000-07:00

.... is an expression often used to describe photojournalist. Its one that for me is true, and i hate that. Im working on prework for my final, and i haven't even started the mag project yet. Im already thinking of stuff for when i get back to CA. Ive been spending a lot of time on applications for summer internships, fuck cant i just stop and be in Denmark? but its not really realistic i guess to not plan ahead a lot, but man id really like to just stop and chill for once in my life... what evs.

remember when cats used to harmonize?

2007-10-19T06:38:00.000-07:00

who rocked that shit? we rocked that shit!
The piece turned out well, and was university liked, every one had good things to say about it.
Im really glad to have this break now. Going to go to paris and kick it with susi, gona go see the breifs, gona see les savy fav (which is going to rock ass!)

Maybe its because i finished a project about relationships and love, maybe its because my bro is getting married, maybe its because ive been listening to Lauyrn Hill but been thinking a lot about love and relationships and how crazy and complex they are the past day or so... not going to get into a rambling mode now.

Figured out, at least generally, what i want to do for my final project... not going to talk about it now before i start to nail things down more.

so really this post isnt about anything ....

or is it....

there were 2 other pieces we watched that stood out to me as, well standouts....

Dana and Ingenburge, and Paulina and Anne, both really good and I wanted to share them with you (you? ha so mom.)

First Dana and Ingenburg-
They are both photographers with me... um ... ya just watch it:

the survivor

Then Anne and Paulina's
Anne is a photog with me, and she is defiantly my favorite. They had a lot of restarts with this project so the photos dont show how great she is... they are good, but her past stuff she really kills it.

i am malu

Also... i redid myn some... just some small changes you might not even notice... i just spaced some stuff out at the end to let the text slides hang longer.

a unified life

multis

2007-10-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

So here are 2 multi media thingys...
the first is just a test, its from this most recent time hanging out with alpha (or anders) the rapper... its just to play around with different fades and cuts and zooms.

fade test

(song by roots of orchis)
the second is the one i just finished about george hinge a homosexual man in arhus. I complained about this assignment a lot, cus we started to run out of time to find sources, and people were going out of town for holiday. So i really only had the one day to try to shoot. Then when i told them just to go about their day, it went like this: george sat in his ofice on his computer, his husband sat downstairs grading papers and reading, i creaked around their creaky hard wood floors.

To sit around for another 2-3 hours for one shot of two guys that arent really comfortable with me being there, and i had no plans nor time to come back and try to shoot a more in depth story, didnt sound great.... Cost vs reward was not really in my favor.

So i soon said 'fuck this' and took some shity portraits and left... i probably could have got something more but by that time i didnt really care anymore.

In the beginning i really wanted to make something good and do a real story, but it turned into "well it will have to do." But the time frame and the form of the class, making a comprehensive story wasnt really the point. I ended up putting a lot of my energy into the audio and the editing, so for that I am happy, and learned and practiced.
I think the audio is really good, we got some good stuff.

I had to edit the shit out of it though, and i should get mvp for that.
every time he said 'to' he said it like 3 or 4 times, and 'ums' and 'ers' and stopping and rephrasing all over the place.
so any time you catch one of my cuts, just know that that means you missed like 8. If i would have left it how it was the thing would have been literally like 7-10 minutes.

a unified life

(all the music was licensed off of the mobygratis website)

oh also i made 2 versions of this, the one i turned in has johns name on it too cus he was technically in our group, but he went out of town and didnt do shit (probably for the better though)

and yes Ariel i used music as a crutch, and it may have saved me.

(see below post for more complaining)

to to to to to

2007-10-15T04:34:00.000-07:00

GOD IM SICK OF LISTENING TO THIS GUYS VOICE... ive never heard some one stumble over their words so much, it takes me 30min to cut one fucking sentence.... oh and the photos are all the same.

hella nostalgic

2007-10-13T13:43:00.000-07:00

this one kinda got away from me... its much bigger then i thought it would be. I was looking at old photos from roadtrips and parties and got all nostalgic and thought i would share that with you. (i did this instead of making sure my portfolio had proper captions... what eves)

best photo ever

now backwards... going away:

way back... stanford in yo face

remember isis?

enlow dance, some time before i left for india

remember these girls. man i keep in touch with them (well jen on the right) more than i do vanessa... so i guess remember vanessa?

thanksgiving at the orphanage, with grandma troll

me and jack had a "who can eat more of this nasty shit" eating contest... thats my game face.

remember when i dressed up in my gorilla suit and ran through those peoples apartment on new years eve... ah good times

remember when i used to have dinner parties?

remember when grant looked like a girl?

remember jessi's old place? remember jessi's new place (its my old place wha?)

i love amara

remember kaiko?

way back ... bodaga bay:

most epic trip ever- murder city sumer (never forget):

remember when pakala pushed grant off the bed at night

lost the keys some where in gasworks park... waiting for aaa at like 1 in the morning.

looking for them in the morning

"grant go take your photo with smoosh!" "no why?" "hey can our friend take his picture with you"

grant missed a lot of the show because he got his chest stepped on (by one of the girls from smoosh)

best Halloween ever:

for some reason i always like pushing the door open on grant when hes in the bathroom

remember when alex almost killed kinsi when throwing pumpkins off of our roof?

remember when 2 fire trucks came up to our house, cus our neighbor said we were lighting things on fire.
second most epic trip ever: vii spring break 06 (some photos from michelles camera)

remember fritz

aww i miss barker, shes my favorite!

and always have to end with the deviated septum shot.
Wish i could go this year (guess ill just have to kick it with them here)

Best friends ever

new stuff

2007-10-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

so shooting this the tactile response from my shutter release button finally went. I knew it was coming. I hate it, the button is all dead feeling. It doesn't effect anything really but it makes the camera just feel different now that i cant really feel myself depress the button, its just like Michele's camera.

worst person to teach a class on stereotypes ever

2007-10-13T00:55:00.000-07:00

So Ive complained about her before, but man does my stereotypes teacher blow.
So we had to go into talk about our final project (a multimedia about a ethnic or social minority in arhus, we are doing it on the homosexual population [and is it gona suck, everyone is going on holiday.... lots of filler is gona have to go in)

Any way we talked to her what its about and the general idea. She totally had this idea that the homosexuals have no issue and no story to be told.
While denmark has had legal gay marriage since 1989 they are generally open-minded about homosexuals there are still some issues they face.
i said something to the fact of :
"one thing George (our main source) pointed out is that there is the feeling of being alone and that you are the only one in the world that feels this way"
to which her response was
"well they are alone"

and then there are still many men in the closet, that in fact have wives, and she made it sound like that was their fault and not Denmark's... my fucking teaching on how not to stereotype, and how to break down ignorance is telling me this.

One other source had a harder time coming out, he is half danish half african (exactly where not sure) and her response to that was "oh well it must have been that african part of his family that shunned him"

she said that in Denmark there is no problem that no one cares about your orientation (and it is definitely more open i agree)
but then Henrik spoke up and said that last night there was a news spot about gay bashing. There is a cruising spot that guys that are in the closet go to pick up other guys, and there has been attacks there and people are getting hurt.
to that she said
"oh well that must be a new thing, there couldn't be many cases of that, where is the documentation"

Man lady you just really dont want to see Denmark in any sort of bad light. In that 5 minute conversation she managed to stereotype and generalize and blame shift, man.

on another note, get the new radiohead? not what i was expecting put still pretty good.

who doesnt like tv

2007-10-10T07:27:00.000-07:00

this is an alternate take of the multimedia i did... you might not get it, but boy did mike and i think it hilarious.

i like telivision

jeff and mike

2007-10-09T09:03:00.000-07:00

So i had to make a multi media thing about me and mike. It was a lot of fun to play around... not sure if it came across to the international kids but this supposed to be kinda satirical.

click photo

ALSO
go to ariel and Kristina's blogs to see the stuff they shot of one of my girls from mvps quince.

Arhus Took It

2007-10-07T03:47:00.001-07:00

So for a while i was going to work on a story about this rapper (different one then alpha) but the kid blew me off... but that story got me backstage press pass to arhus took it
(self proclaimed Scandinavia's largest hip hop festival). So i went just to see/shoot pharoahe monch (one of my all time favs) and el-p... all for free.
It was a blast, went back stage, ate fancy back stage food, shoot from the barrier, and back stage, full freedom and access... and all for free. Some times being press really pays off, even if it doesn't pay.
Monch was real aloof, he just sat in the back drinking a coffee.
El-p and Mr. Dibs are 2 intimidating fuckers, but they were both supper nice.
I could give a whole play by play thingy of all the bands, but i think ill just skip it and go the photos (maybe ill come back and add more writing latter)

Had some neat over exposures... too much changing situations that some times i fucked up... but i like how these ones came out.

Then El-P the next night:

He falls over at one point while Dibs does some dj stuff (similar to the main single music video)
happy i got this one.

Since i liked the over exposures from the night before i thought id try it again... got some weird effects (i didnt change these at all... this is how they came out)

shot a portrait of el-p with the ringflash but it didnt come out... the focus is easy to mess up with it.

posible stereotypes project

2007-10-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

went to a LGB meeting the other day with walter for the stereotypes class.
Will hopefully do a multimedia on this guy and his husband, still up in the air.

18 wha?

2007-10-04T07:24:00.000-07:00

stereotypes... thats a class Im taking right now at school. Its interesting i guess. I find it kind of questionable at times though.

Denmark has only had ethnic immigrants since like the 70s or 80s, so they haven't dealt with media stereotyping for very long.
The first assignment was to interview some one out of your comfort zone. Sounds like a good thing, makes sense, but more complicated then the teacher made it out to be. She sorta made it kinda of "go find a middle eastern" or her example for herself was to talk to greatly obese person. I find this pretty objectionable. We are supposed to be talking about not stereotyping and dehumanizing people, and yet i think she is kinda doing just that with this assignment. when i asked how she suggest we approach these people for an interview with out saying "can i talk to you? because you make me uncomfortable," her response was to lie.

My biggest problem with journalism, is the commoditification of people. Seeing people as stories first and not as people. I feel that this makes us commodify and stereotype people and thus dehumanize them.

"hey you are important to me for half an hour because of an assignment"
But i get the idea of the assignment.. to think differently about people and not take things at face value. For me though, Ive spent most of my life doing things like 'Tools for Tolerance' and M.V.P that try to break down cultural and religious and socioeconomic barriers, so it kinda fell short of its goal to me.

But today was really interesting.
2 journalist came in to talk about how the Danish media perpetuates stereotypes and builds a sort of 'us and them' mentality.
one guy was Afghani the other Turkish i think.
They were really interesting and revealing.

they had one story that was really crazy:
a TV news program ran a piece about a new gang in Copenhagen. First off the title of the piece said something like "immigrant gang" which is very leading to begin with.
but it had all these interview with gang members with bandanas on their face, saying how they want to be big and bad. It had clips of them holding guns and showing off for the camera looking hard.

the Afghani guy had contacts in the area that the gang was from and started to ask around about the piece, because it was kinda fishy too him.
So in his own research he talked to some people and then was given this video for some danish gangster raper.
He plays the music video, as we are watching we realize that all of those shots in the documentary of the gang-members with guns were taken from this music video.

Turns out all of the 'gangsters' in the documentary were just acting for this music video and had no real gang affiliation.
He found one of the 'gang members' and the guy told him he was just acting the same way as he was in the video... he had no idea he was being represented as a real gang member for a news piece, he just saw it the same as the video shoot.

No retraction was ever made, no one got fired or in any trouble at all. They all just kinda shruged their shoulders and said "sorry it was all fake ha :)"

crazy

also crazy was the song was singing about 187.. i asked if that had any cultural significance here? the cops dont use 187 at all, so it all came from Snoop Dog and american police code. really strange how american gangster rap has influence everywhere, to the point that people are sing about 187 here.
snoop ... crazy

alpha/ empty places part 2

2007-09-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

wana see some photos of the producer/rapper ive been hanging out with?
sure you do:

I went with him to the doctor to get his balls checked cus he had a lump.
It was only the second time weve hung out, so one i was kinda embarrassed, and two wasnt sure about shooting him in such a vulnerable situation... so i opted to not shoot the cock photo... plus he knew he was fine it was like a 3rd opinion... so as far as important story telling point, it wasnt as big as it might sound.

and now some more stuff ive shot walking home n stuff

oh the things you can make with glue and tinfoil

2007-09-26T04:00:00.000-07:00

built myself a ring flash... and it works surprisingly well... not perfect... but for about 30 bucks some glue and tinfoil id say its pretty sweet. Thanks for the link paul.

most cumbersome self portrait ever... but see it works pretty well. supper excited to use it for real.

supper late

2007-09-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

supperbad finally came out here... funniest shit ever.

lomopano

2007-09-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

some new lomo horizons stuff

empty places

2007-09-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

a quite lonely walk in the evening

horizons, and real work next time

this shit is goofy

2007-09-23T06:04:00.000-07:00

ok some stuff here just makes me laugh and scratch my head...
so we had a big cleaning day... like spring cleaning ...
after wards order pizza...
I say im fine with what ever everyone else wants... "oh well we all get our own small one"
they dont just share the pizza? thats weird... so gona order like 20 small personal pizzas...
i look over the list and ask for translation here and there...
the Texas pizza had fucking bacon and eggs, and he said it like that was normal... bacon ok what ever ive had that... but eggs on a pizza wtf.
so i say ... ill just get a cheese
"what? whats that? just cheese, i dont think we have that?"
NO PLAIN CHEESE? this country is backwards.

My new adition to myspace friends...

2007-09-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

Lars Bech... my guest photo teacher is my newest myspace friend. He was soo funny... he wears tight indi jeans-with a guitarpic pocket, a black comi cap, a tight black zip up, and clear frame glasses.

He showed us his myspace in class... his music tastes are; Coldplay, Kent, Björk, Radiohead, Kashmir,Placebo, VETO, Utah, DM, Ice Cube, Mum, Sigur Ros, David Bowie, Metallica, Rammstein, (cant forget ice cube or rammstein)

oh and hes a pretty bad ass photographer too www.larsbech.com

Assignments went like this... he would show us some obscure indi film like Europa, or Guelen Donkey Boy, and then we had to use that as inspiration for the assignment... pretty sweet idea i think.

these are the portraits i did using Europa as inspiration:
(they are already shot real dark... so some computer screens might makes them even darker and almost unviewable depending on your calibration- one thing that sucks about the internet... so sorry if they look shitty to you)

these are others shot at the same time, but not with europa in mind:

not sure which one i like better

oh and check out my hawt new finish lady friend (photos by paul)

she left me so i tried to kill myself. by ^PaulG (i dont know what it is with taking portaits with friends that makes me end up playing dead) by vPaul Q

too much/not enough

2007-09-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

ugh...
i have soo much creativity and hunger spilling out. Not enough time and energy to do every thing, lots of shit on the back burner... simmering if you will...

new zine stuff in the works- been playing around with a few cover/title ideas.

Trying to work on a few stories that are all in this maybe stage... i hate as a journalist you rely on other people so often for yoru story, i guess they are the story though so you have no choice...
If only i were invisible- or a hypnotist- ya thats better. I would just hypnotize my subjects... "you will let me in your life completely ... you will act as if i weren't there... 1 2 3"

but my teacher said once that when you feel frustrated like this its because you are right on the verge or a break through. Like watching babys try to walk, they get really mad when they are right on the edge of walking...

im walking, its waiting to run

whos pimpin who

2007-09-19T07:16:00.001-07:00

first off i would like to point out that my last blog ... where all i said was "prince bitches - im out" got more comments than anything else... all i did was say i was going to see prince....
any way
London was a doosy... short and fast, but fun ... lots to say lots to show

as usual i like taking photos of tourists more than the building... tourists (ya i know im one of them) are so interesting looking. there is something about large groups of people standing around looking at a building that makes them fucking dumb... people just stand around going drrrrr, oblivious to everthing... a car could run some one over and half of them wouldn't even notice

i think its interesting how you can shoot the same thing in so many different ways.

stumbeled upon a photo show on the boarder town between belize and Guatemala- all done by the kids that live there.

hmm that sounds familiar... check out www.caracol.org.uk

Me in front of the O2. you couldn't bring in cameras but i went by it earlier in the day.
I know i look weird but this is my excited face...
so prince was pretty rad...
crazy and over the top, stage the shape of his symbol, he ascended up from the stage.
i had sweet seats, it was about 20 rows from what would be court side.
he played for like 2 hours.
best song was whole latta love by zep... ya i said it whole latta love by fucking Led Zeppelin... he sang like 2 verses and then just shredded the rest of the song ... the only person that has the balls to out shred zeppelin is prince.
who really trys to out do zepllin? and then who really accomplishes it?

I always say that you never really know a place till you have napped there (i really do say that a lot) well i guess now i know london

you cant see it real well but this guys belt says "addicted to disco" the other side said "im a fag" (last part not real)
and now the "oops i took all these while walking im a dumb ass" photo section

went to a really great photo show of taryn simon... she has been a big influence on me when i didnt even know it.
I remember a portrait she took years ago in an American Photo and it always stuck with me.
Now to come see her work years latter and find out who she was is very serendipitous. the show was called "an american index of the hidden and unfamiliar" of these weird small american things... like braille play boy mag... or this one- all white triggers are a product of breading, so this southern guy had a white trigger bred, but all of the inbreeding required to do it made it mentally retarded and with messed up facial deformities.

i found that portrait i liked so much... she did a whole big project called 'the innocent' its off people who were wrongly convicted of murder and then released years latter with the advent of better dna testing.

then i stumbled upon the Lomo Societies 7th annual world conference public display... it was pretty sweet.

oh and then i got this bad boy:

thats right... for all you photo geeks... its a gold (painted) special 'world conference' Diana

so then jumping forward ... there was some sort of mix up with the me and busses to the airport... so i missed my bus, and had to take the latter one... so i missed my flight by like 10 minutes had to pay 100 bucks to get a new flight... and slept in the airport till the next flight in the morning.
wasnt that bad... if it werent for the 100$ thing.
now its a list of flight stories:
running
sleeping through crazy scary turbulence
15 hours in Singapore
checked for bombs
threatened by crazy german
and now
missed flight and slept in airport in london

my very sad and frustrated buss ride

me in the morning

and i think the best self portrait of me ever

now im home

and lots of more work and excitement and fear and filth and learning and feeling and shit

PRINCE BITCHES

2007-09-14T03:06:00.000-07:00

im out

never coming home

2007-09-10T03:31:00.001-07:00

maybe being abroad makes it feel different but today felt sorta weird.
It doesnt feel 6 years ago.
We often forget that it was very real, and that people all over the world are still feeling its after affects.
We had such an opportunity to show american strength and resolve, and we instead dragged the pain out and spread it out.
I hope we can some how stop all this shit, bring everyone home, stop killing americans stop killing iraqis, and start letting every one heel... its been 6 years and bush keeps that wound open.

never coming home media storm

Rio Grande

2007-09-09T11:37:00.000-07:00

so this was a blast ...
i had to cover an event in arhus fest... anything really, as long as it was an in-depth coverage of something during the fest it would work.
so i hit the streets around noon looking for stuff... I came up in the "country tent" a show by Rio Grande was going to start in an hour... so i thought id talk to the guys see whats up and hang out.
I end up shooting the hole thing... they did three sets till 7... so i was there from around 3 to 7. It was fun. I became a fixture of the room, and a friend to the band so fast that i could go anywhere and shoot anything/ any one.
I made this country band from Denmark feel like they were the RollingStones or something... it was great, they loved it.
I wanted to really capture the vibe of the place and the best way i was able to do that was to go in an vignette and add grain to all the photos, i also desaturated and cooled them down some to make them feel old and cowboyesc... bloger wont do them justice but just trust me that they look pretty awesome. I feel like im back in the dark room perfecting every print.

home

2007-09-08T07:45:00.000-07:00

Its time for another one of those personal ranty things - wrote this the other day.
Im held up doing more photoshop work than i have ever done to a photo before (feels like im back in a dark room) so i figured in-between posting photos Id slip one of these personal emo post in there. (posted some photos earlier today so look at that too)

Been thinking about home a lot…
Maybe its because Ive lived in a few, or because I seem to leave it a lot, home has always been a big theme to me. What it means to go home, to have a home, what is home, these things have always intrigued me.

I think I have a lot, from mvp to my parents, to the lower haight to the sunset.
And today Arhus… today was the first time I felt at home here… I don’t know how long it will last but for at least a while today I feel like this place is becoming my own.

Im lucky enough to always have one I can go to. Every time I leave to go some where, I know at the end I will be able to come back… and that’s really important I think.
And beyond my parents I know MVP will always be open, and some kids will know me, the Kicocase’s, the Supulvida’s will be there… I can always go in my heart if I feel lost.

SF I know I can spend a month being technically homeless (and have done it) cus I can sleep here or sleep there with no question. I know bitches go my back… and knowing that goes a long way.

I started writing the early stages of my speech for my bros wedding… I thought I would just do it on the plane, but its gona be the badest ass best man speech in the history of marriage, and I think home will be a big theme in it.

call me stephen lam

2007-09-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

so arhus fest is going on right now... its ending on sunday... its this weird mix of the sate fair, noise pop, and a vaudeville traveling circus.
There are cultural events from plays to orchestra to dance... there is indi music (sick of it all is playing ha!)... fairs wheels... everything.
My experience has been mainly limited to free activities... Kalvis wanted me to go to a dance band for fucking 150K that like 30 bucks... i dont pay that much for bands i know.

Went to this noise thing at some storage containers by the dock... sounded tight... was lame.
The noise here is terrible... i was hoping for instrument biased noise like lightning bolt or hella... it was all just funky feedback and loud screeches. The light was great, and it was in a cool industrial area... but nothing paned out... it was a big bust.

then as i was leaving that i saw a bunch of people standing in line... it turned out to be a bike race... i think it must have been a critearum where they just go in a big circle a bunch.

and then finally got it:

call me stephen lam

i dont want to dance with your heart ... but this is a groove

2007-09-05T01:06:00.000-07:00

man yesterday was long and hard... good and fun, but long and hard.
We had to play newspaper photographer... we had to run around the city with various asignments and a deadline of 6. Portrait, event, and feature... not that hard, not that much but still deadline work blows.
So i found out where my portrait was, downed some mate that my parents sent me in a package (how hippy is that, that in a care package i asked for yerba mate... im lame i know),
put some of this in on the head phones

(this was a pain to find)

and headed out to do my artist portrait.
I havent had any large amounts of caffein in a long time, that mixed with my nerves my stomach was all messed up... all i knew about this place was that it was in a basement... which only means bad light.
the place was small dark, and i had 20 minutes to do it... had no idea what to expect... not really happy with the shot but it will work i guess...

then jumped on a free city bike to the midevil arena... sounded cool.... sounded
this is what i saw when i got there:

'Arena' is written with electrical tape...wtf
definitely no medieval times in san luis- now that place was tight.

it took me a long time to get in the groove there... kids literally just running in circles, so hard to isolate anything... im happy with what i finally got though

so i left there and planed on coming back at 4 when they were going to have a real fight... i wanted to try and get them suiting up... but at 4? damn that would make it tight for a 6 deadline when i still need to edit and transmit.
went downtown for my "streetlife" feature photo... as did EVERYONE ELSE.
It fucking blew... i had to leave there fast cus we were going to get all the same shit.
I did shoot some there
Ive goten intrigued by frames with in frames... only done it twice, and i dont think ive goten it yet... dont know if its even possible to do well, but its fun to try.

im sick of shooting fucking kids... if i never shoot another "cute kid" photo again that will be tooooo soon

so i had to leave. I wanted real hard to slow everything down. It was hard, cus i think im pretty good at picking out that quite moment in the action... or at least a lot of my favorave ones ive shot do that...but at the same time its for a newspaper... can i really turn in a boring quiet photo?
and it still had to say arhus fest... there had to be some sort of connection.
Shooting action is almost a give in its there its happening... i wanted to slow it down some.

i hung out at this red frame (red is the arhus fest color) waiting for some one to come up to it, finaly as i was about to leave (thats what sucks about a dead line... no time to just hang out) this girl danced in it

cute old couple on the giant red coach.

then i had to head back to the arena...
this guy was a fucking loon... he told me i was a nansy for not kicking bush out of office...
then he told me he had connections all over denmark, and that yesterday he bought Christiania that he was the new owner.
And that he was father Christmas... but hes on holiday *wink*

i knew i had basically what i needed so i just played around with framing... i wanted to use the craziest shit i could find to frame ... didnt work but i did use a tambourine... a fucking tambourine to frame her face.

pore guy

then after every one had given up... it was just me and Ellen checking our watches... i got what i was waiting for... the guy came for the fight and i got in the tent to get them suiting up... its not quite like i would like them (mind these haven't been toned) but im glad i got them, and that im the only person to get it. (there are some missing but you get the general idea)

i made it a few past 6... i had to call Mas saying "they are coming i swear they are sending now i know its 10 past but they are on their way."

then we went out ...
they had beds and heaters by this big stage that was really nice:

thug life

man i look mean... all im saying is "why dont you guys come sit down its really comfy"

sorry this is from earlier... this is what i imagine walking to heaven must look like.

best unflattering photo of walter yet... him lipsinking to cold play

mike taught Kalvis 'douche bag' so now hes been calling everyone douche bags all the time "you are douche bag" in a latvian (picture rusian) accent.

back from copenhagen

2007-09-03T11:21:00.000-07:00

got back from copenhagen... danm that place is expensive... lots of photos and stories so lets just jump right into it.

Mike and Walter were there with all the international semester kids for class. They stayed the weekend while everyone else went home cus they ran out of money.

people on my train:

this next family was ridiculous. The poor british guy could not contain his kids... i heard alot of "i hate you daddy"

best subway ever

my hostel

so I meet the stupidest american there... fool was L 7 to the max.
ill distill the hole thing down to this
him- "im from orange county"
me- "oh my best friend is from santa ana"
him- snooty tone "oh i live far from santa ana... is he hispanic? cus only hispanics live there"
Me- "she! is Guatemalan! and you better not disrespect rich ass bitch" and then i hit im in the face
(the hole last part is in my head)

Earlier in the week mike and walter went to the erotica museum- I guess it started out interesting with historic stuff, and then just turned into hardcore shit...
check out the program:

first night went to this cool dive bar by the hostel... they kinda muged us at first but they warmed up and talked to us some.

mugen?

that shit tasted like listerean. dont think it cleaned my gums though.

thats talent

so the next day we went to christaina- this big hippy commune in the middle of the city. It is an old army base that squatters took over years ago. Its a weird place. They are all hippies but then pusher street is very militant and intimidating... big signs saying no photography, and mean ass dirty dudes with eaqualy mean and dirrty pitbulls.
Right when we got there the cops were doing a raid and they started throwing rocks at them... i shot some off the hip, but with just getting there and the hole no photos thing i wasnt about to try and play nachtway.

so we left pusher street prity fast and hung out in chiller areas where the dogs are much nicer, and i dont have to worry about pulling out my camera.

this guy was a fucking loon... he didnt want me taking his photo either, i snuck some, but i had my 50 on so it was hard... i did get him to let me take his portrait when i left.

bomb

went to the little mermaid statue... had fun taking picture of other tourists.

this place was weird, we bought Chinese food and took in here... "Sams bar" like from cheers.

then we came to a demonstration of 10 year olds... i guess at night it turned into a riot... we heard what we thought were fire works or something... turns out it was tear gas going off. Fucking 12 year olds.

this kid was awesome, howling and yelling, tarren ass all over the square.

they have crazy bikes here... but this one takes it. A folding full suspension.

these are their cops...
no i dont know some sort of reenactment thing.

Im sick of posting so im done...
Arhus fest is going on all week, so i should have a buch from that soon.